I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
