The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
