Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
