You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
