pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry about my life...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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