So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
