Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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