you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
