Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
