He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize