I want to stick my p in your. b.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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