afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
