And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
