Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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