You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
