if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Oh god it's open bar.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
