You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize