he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
