I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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