I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
