in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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