Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
