Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
