i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
