better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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