My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
