Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
