he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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