I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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