I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize