You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
