friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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