So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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