I hate all girls vehemently.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
