so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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