since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
