Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
