I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
