There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
