I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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