That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
