Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
