i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my shit smells like andre
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
