did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think people are normalizing furries
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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