she looked like the before picture.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
