So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my liver is dry heaving
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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