i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
please don't ironically join a cult
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