that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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