fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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