and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My vagina just clenched in fear
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
