how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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