p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
