Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She even gives head with a lisp.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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