Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
