babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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