if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
