just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
