I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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