Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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