babies were throwing up all over the place
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
