so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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