I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
