playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it's like heaven, but drunker
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
