Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
this hospital has no fireball
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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