Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
