tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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