His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
