Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
