I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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