How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
thus making me awesome and them whores
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
